


JJ Style with C(h)ris

by adersli



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Crack Treated Seriously, Fun, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Utter Nonsense, but it's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adersli/pseuds/adersli
Summary: They said the band would never work. We proved them wrong. They said the band would break apart. Wrong (well that almost happened). They said that people wouldn’t like the music. No. They said it would be a total disaster. They were right about that.





	

The show was going great. Nothing bad had happened yet; Michele hadn’t picked a fight with any of the audience members, JJ was just focusing on one guitar, and Chris was acting like a regular human being. The audience members were ecstatic. They liked the band’s music, but there was always some potential danger in attending their previous shows. Nothing weird happened yet, and nothing will! It’ll be fine.

Michele was growing steadily more anxious. He knew that Sala was in the audience because he finally convinced her to go watch one of his shows, but where was she? He spotted her and breathed a sigh of relief. Wait. Who was that beside her? Was that a...man?!? Who was he? Michele frantically searched through his brain, trying to determine whether the person was suitable or not. Wait, no. Nobody would be ever suitable for his sister. Nobody but… nobody, not even someone like himself. He needed a way to help protect Sala. He quickly scanned the stage, trying to find something that would damage the man enough so that he would stop talking to Sala. Forever. His eyes landed upon one of the miniature golden JJ figurines which lined the edge of the stage. Perfect. Michele gently picked up the closest JJ figurine (there were maybe about a hundred of them on stage) and aimed at the man’s trashy face.

Chris was having the time of his life. Although he was originally supposed to be playing keyboard, he kind of abandoned the task when JJ stole it right out of his hands. Now he had nothing to do other than showcase his true skills and communicate with the audience, showing his love to the entire crowd. He usually did this by pointing at each person individually in the audience, starting from the front row and moving back. Today was no exception. He usually allowed a full twenty seconds for each person before moving on. He would continue this act throughout the entire show, only stopping once the last audience member fled the concert venue or one of the others forcibly dragged him offstage. He decided that he would start with the left side today. The first person he pointed to was a lovely man by the age of approximately seventy. He looked like he was here with his granddaughter, who Chris pointed to next. 

JJ was in his element. Crowd roaring just for him. Well, there were some other people too but he knew what the show was really about. He was currently only playing one instrument, a record low for him. That was a tragedy in and of itself. He needed another instrument, as soon as possible. JJ glanced over at Chris, who barely seemed to know how to play his keyboard, and then at Michele, who also didn’t really know how to play guitar but had an extremely territorial look on his face. Since JJ valued his life, he decided to take Chris’ instrument. After some minor convincing, JJ now had the most roles to do! He’s singing, he’s playing guitar, and he’s playing the keyboard. No biggie. He can handle anything that comes across his way, obviously, because he’s the king!

Michele aimed and threw the figurine with as much accuracy as he could. He smirked as the figurine sailed towards the unknown man, but then to his horror, Sala leaned forward and the figurine hit her directly in the face, causing her to fall into the mystery man’s arms. Michele looked on in horror as Sala started to look lovingly into the other man’s eyes. That was just unacceptable! Who caused her to lean forward just as he threw the figurine? Michele swung in the direction where Sala was glancing towards and discovered to his dismay that she was looking at none other than Chris. Chris was still pointing at her, and Michele tried and failed to keep his temper in rein. Michele couldn’t take this anymore. He swung his guitar and shoved it at JJ (who by this point was playing only two instruments) as he stalked over to Chris.

Chris knew that something was going wrong when that object (was that one of JJ’s miniature figurines?) flew directly into the woman he was pointing to. Wait. Wasn’t that Michele’s sister? That one he was so obsessed with? Chris turned around and found himself eye to eye with a seething Michele. This would not end well.

JJ was doing fine. If you defined fine as playing five different instruments at once while forcing a fake smile and trying desperately (and failing) to hit a single correct chord on any single instrument. Even though he was obviously being perfect and was the star of the show, JJ noticed that the audience members weren’t completely focused on him. What in the world could be more interesting than watching him sing and play his instruments? He tilted his head slightly so he could look behind him, and grimaced when he saw that Michele was somehow trying to kill Chris. Again? JJ couldn’t fathom why this had to happen basically every single concert. And the night was going so well so far until now! JJ desperately looked for a tried to think of a solution to solve this issue immediately. Aha.

Michele only managed to land one punch into Chris’ delicate facial features when he heard a loud crashing sound. He turned around. JJ threw all his instruments on the floor apart from one guitar (where did that guitar even come from? Michele certainly didn’t see that one in rehearsals). Michele gaped as JJ literally flung himself into the audience as screaming fangirls rushed to catch him. JJ continued to sing and play guitar even though his guitar was unplugged by this point. Did he even know how guitars worked? Michele drew his attention back to Chris, but Chris was already running towards the audience and flung himself as well. However, all the attention was already focused on JJ and so Chris landed flat on his face. Michele winced. 

Tonight was not going well, but the fact that most of their performances had gone only slightly better than this one said quite a bit about how these performances usually went. Reporters had their own roped off section near the corner of the stage, but now some of them were pushing into the main crowd to get a better shot of the action. ‘Action’ obviously meaning absolute mayhem and chaos. There was a quick “BANG” and the stage shook with the impact. One of the confetti cannons had apparently gone off too early and showered the right half of the crowd with smoke and golden strips of paper. A few screams went up from that section, but those were largely overshadowed by the other catastrophe unfolding. As the cannon had gone off, some sparks from the minor blast had showered their way onto the front of the stage. On that side of the stage there laid several things; JJ’s discarded drum set, his two extra guitars, 13 small golden figurines of a certain egomaniac, and most importantly, the fringe of one of the gargantuan curtains that blanketed the stage. Who knew curtains could be so flammable? 

JJ was trying to bask in his glory when he realized that his fans weren’t yelling with gleeful joy but instead were screaming in horror. He saw the flames out of the corner of his eye, but simply assumed that they were some sort of effect that the stage managers didn’t tell him about, but when the fire made its way down to the first row of audience members, JJ knew it wasn’t on purpose. He tried to crowd surf back to the stage so he could preserve his precious figurines (after all, they cost more than all of the band’s instruments combined), but the fans were unrelenting and brought him to safety outside. He watched in horror as a few brave individuals scrambled up on the stage to steal his beautiful figurines, and debated whether this musical career turned out to be the best choice for him. 

Chris and Michele weren’t faring as well. Chris was still trying to fulfill his goal of pointing at each audience member, though it was significantly harder to make out who he hasn’t pointed to yet in the smoke and chaos of everyone trying to escape. It was so much easier when everyone was standing in their respective rows! Chris winced as he narrowly missed some sparks the cannons were still unleashing. Maybe he should save his routine pointing to another day.

Michele was desperately trying to find Sala, to see if she was okay. He could always fight Chris later. More significant matters were at stake here. When he finally saw her near the entrance of the building, he was first relieved, and then he saw them.. Sala and the mysterious man were holding hands! They were practically married! He could do nothing else but pray for their relationship’s demise now. Michele collapsed on his knees and looked to the sky for guidance. Everything that he had hoped, everything that he tried to work for was all faded to nothing in the toss of a figurine and a small hazardous fire. 

**Channel 11 News at 12:00;**

**Breaking News:** _ Following last month’s near breakup and drop in record sales, Jean-Jacques ‘JJ’ Leroy and his self-titled band, “JJ Style with C(h)ris” were looking to promote a new, more stable version of their band, hoping to redeem themselves from the infamous live performances they are known for. This first show at the Montreal Stadium was meant to prove to both critics and fans alike that the band altogether could be, quote, “Much more chill and 82% less violent”. Well viewers, it appears that they haven’t succeeded very much in that regard. As you can see behind me, the firefighter crew is just clearing out, and luckily only the west entrance and mainstage sustained heavy damages. Regardless of your tastes in music, one must feel pity for these boys. After all this is the fourth occasion in their band’s history where either smoke or extensive fire damage has interrupted a performance and not many venues will welcome them after this fiasco. Despite the bad press they will certainly receive for this incident, keyboard player Christophe ‘Chris’ Giacometti commented to reporters from his hotel room, “It really wasn’t that bad, considering we got through a few more songs than usual. So overall I think we did a good job. Our next performance will continue as scheduled.” He then turned to one of the cameramen and started flirting. This concludes our Breaking News broadcast. I’m Shayne Nickelson reporting from the smouldering Montreal Stadium. Have a good night. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that! I'll be leaving it as a one-shot for now, but if enough people like it, I'll probably write up some more ;))


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